May had been the blessed month..

I was there for 10 days.. Now, I miss you more than ever. I’ve never been this emotional over sumone before. But u make me realise i can be. I wan you by my side now more than ever. I miss you.

All i have is to stare at our ‘LV commercial’ picture and reminisce bout our time together. 5 more months bfore you’re back here by my side and then we can continue with what we planned. I pray hard all will go well…

I do see it in my head… And i dun wanna drag it any longer… COME BACK QUICK!!

I’m truly blessed.. In times of need I have them

I’m truly blessed.. I do feel all i need are them…

Happy times… with each of us being ther for one another. It’s happier when i get to have all my girlfriends together. We planned a Garden party with each of us bringing our friend. It turned out to be a great idea cos everyone got along with one another. The best part, my sweetheart Hily and my twin Odah .. gets along perfectly well.. Its the best feeling ever.. I cherished you

I can’t wait to quit my job and i can’t wait to get a new job.. I pray hard that it would happen soon
Knowing myself… i’ve ran out of motivation and reasons to go for sessions right now..
I jus popped another pill… I feel like a druggie

I can’t wait for May to come..
I cn’t believe I am actually going there again

Positive Schools 2009 Mental Health and Well being Conference…
by Australia’s Psychological Society
held in Western Australia

Fantastic opportunity
opportunistic as i m… i wanna go, learn more, make more contacts and get a new better paid and better environment job..

The best part.. I get to meet DD!!!!

All falling well so far.. jus don’t know hw im gonna break the news to my director that I’m leaving the company for good…
Time for a job search!!

Im wishing upon the stars.. for wat seemed to be only a miracle

Im wishing upon the stars.. for sumthg out of my control

Im wishing upon the stars.. to have dat ‘relek one corner’ life i had

The stars are staring back at me…

Im taking one step at a time

If u noe wat i mean

I wouldnt have to say wat i said

If u noe wat i mean

I wouldnt seem like im picking on everythg u do n dun do

If u noe wat i mean

Everythg in the world wld b of one colour.. the colour of our choice

If u noe wat i mean

We dun need to understnad, we dun need to say anythg

If u noe wat i mean

Id b an easier person

Cos u dunno wat i mean…

Cos u stumble on ur words, intonations and everythg in ur sentence

I dunno wat u mean…..

I STOP.

I GOT STUNNED

IM NOT USED TO IT

ID NEVER GET USED TO IT

I SHOULD STICK TO WHAT I KNOW BEST

MY HEAD AND NOT MY HEART

FROM NOW ON… I’D STOP

STOP GIVING ORDERS

STOP BEING DEMANDING

ALL IN YOUR WORDS

STOP SAYING HOW I FEEL COS IT DOESNT SEEM TO MATTER

YOU ASK ME IF I WAS OK

IM NOT.. WHO WOULD B AFTER BEING TOLD SHE IS GIVING ORDERS AND BEING DEMANDING?

BUT I PICK MYSELF UP FAST

ID STOP

U DO THE ACTIONS. U MAKE THE INITIATIVES. U FEEL WHAT I FEEL.

ID MAKE U REALISE WHAT IVE BEEN FEELING

OR RATHER, I JUS WANNA END IT ALL.

I WANNA BE AN EAGLE AND SOAR AWAY FROM ALL OF IT

I SAY I APPRECIATE THE SPACE

BUT I DUN.. NOT AT ALL…

It was 6pm yesterday.

I was sitting at the bus stop, observing. Two pairs of father and son jogged from across the road.

1st pair: dad was joggin, son stopped and walked. dad slowed his pace and encouraged the son to jog on or walk fast. they jogged side by side with son stopping a couple more times and dad jogging at son’s pace.

2nd pair: dad and son were jogging side by side. dad jogged faster. son tried to catch up. dad jogged on and son was trying hard to jog faster. dad was bout 1.5m ahead of son, son didn’t give up and jogged on effortlessly.

What can i say about the the 2 pairs? Well, obviously both dads know their sons very well. how different the behaviour was, it was the same. They knew what their son was capable of and what they needed. The first son needed more support and encouragement, having the dad next to him whereas the 2nd son was more independent and the dad knew that his son was capable to jog along though left slightly behind.

It is amazing how sometimes we think our parents do not know us cos we hide things from them. We lie to them about what we do outside, or we keep a distant and closed relationship with them. But it is true that regardless of mum and dad, it do not take a genius to know about their children instinctly. That is as much i can attribute to parents and the instincts that they develop about their children which are 90% on target. And for that, not only should they be appreciated, but should not be messed with.

This morning was the first session I had with someone observing me.. not cos he or she wanna see how i’m doing but rather to learn from me…

Well i hope she not only learn about the drills but also gained sum skills from me…

Hmm im supposed to do sum parents’ training.. but H hasnt said anythg yet. And ive gone thru n completed n graduated Case Manager training but im still not a senior therapist?? How the hell does that work??

I need my senior ASAP… need the extra $5 and i need more hours.. HECK! Im only working 16 hours a week

Need to get my head back in the game!!

Assignments due!! havent finished this overdued one.. 2 more pending… i NEED my head back

GIVE ME MY MIND BACK!!

In the midst of being lost..

All i want.. all i need is for him to be here with me

I pine and I whine

For something only the stars can make happen

I pine and I whine

For something that plays in my mind.. in my fragmented, fantastical mind

All i want, all i need.. is to feel him right here with me

I never thought i’d need another person

But I pine and i whine

For the clouds to float him to me…

For the stars to bolt him to me…

Cos in my mind, and in my heart.. is the same…

All but ONE…