No Such Thing

Yani and a blog??…. this is just another outlet to express myself….

The Inspirations of a cynical Soul.

Keeping a diary just means more trees are being cut and more ink used. Am not going to actively invite people to read this neither am I going to bother making it private (because the internet can never be private). Typing my thoughts instead of writing them just cuts the time by more than half. More time to watch TV, read my storybooks or sleep….

So why start now? I decided to give away my journal (that I started solely for the purpose of a new beginning) to the one person I was sharing my thought with (in pretense cos I’m actually writing to an imaginary friend about him). I don’t know why I gave Elf the journal but I thought it would be a good way of closing the chapter so it would be easier for me to move on with my life.

NO SUCH THING!!

definitely no such thing as making things easier to move on.

no such thing as making a bleeding heart heal on its’ own…

everyday I still wonder why he’d do this to me. disappear on your own gf?? hmm… that takes the cake of all the weird and horrible things any of my exes of done to me… I shouldnt be sounding pathetic.. but the thought that I’ve been let down when I’ve actually put in effort just tickles me. YES! it tickles me.. in the most cynical, darkest way I know how. Crying no longer feels anything but just water running down my cheeks. 

I am really hoping that Ais will shed some light to me about why Elf is doing what he is doing. The truth about how I really feel right now? I don’t know. It feels the same shitty feeling since a month ago when it started. The difference now is that I am holding myself together.

Ok.. 12.07am… past my midnight…

Muharram resolution: sleep before the clock strikes 12midnight…

~ by briyani99 on January 31, 2008.